Major League Baseball’s “Players Weekend” is back for a third straight year, though this season it will look a little different. Instead of the colorful, Little League-inspired jerseys that the 30 teams wore in the previous two years, the 2019 installment will bring black and white monochromatic jerseys.
It’s a drastic switch and an interesting decision, especially considering the whole point of the weekend is to promote fun and creativity in baseball. The new uniforms don’t exactly scream fun or creativity, though the league says they chose this route so that player accessories (such as cleats, bats and arm sleeves) would pop more.
However, one fun aspect of the weekend that remains is the opportunity for players to feature customized nicknames on the back of their jerseys. Some players are sticking with names that they’ve showcased in the past, but others are going in a different direction.
Here is the best nickname from every team for Players Weekend 2019, which will be held from August 23-25.
Andrelton Simmons went with the timely “Lion King” nod, which is somewhat fitting because these jerseys are about as creative as that remake. Shohei Ohtani is once again going with “SHOWTIME,” which is the correct decision.
Astros: BIG FUDGE
Jake Marisnick delivers a tribute to his sweet tooth while also referencing How I Met Your Mother.
Athletics: THE MANAEALATOR
Sean Manaea continues to be a Players Weekend standout with this incredible play on words.
Blue Jays: 100 MILES GILES
The best nickname is one earned, and the radar gun can back up the moniker for Ken Giles. Reese McGuire going with PIECES is also pretty strong.
Braves: JER-RY JER-RY JER-RY
Jerry Blevins is going to be inspiring trashy fights in the stands all weekend long, and that’s something that’s worth getting behind. The Braves have several other winners; Of course, Josh Donaldson is returning BRINGER OF RAIN, but Mike Foltynewicz is also running HIGH FOLTAGE while Luke Jackson hat tips “Star Wars” with SKYWALKER.
Brewers: THREE KID$
We can only assume Lorenzo Cain is referencing how expensive it is to be a father of three. Other Milwaukee winners: Yasmani Grandal rocking with YAZMANIAN DEVIL, Josh Hader sipping on HADERADE and Travis Shaw embracing his office as MAYOR-DDC (Mayor of Ding Dong City).
Cardinals: HELLZ BELLZ
Ryan Helsley is bringing the heat, but you have to respect Michael Wacha running back WACHAMOLE.
I like this choice for Cole Hamels, mainly because it reminds me of the time he spent $70,000 on Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show tickets only to get scammed and denied entry. Hollywood, baby!
This is even better when you realize Alex Avila is a catcher and kind of looks like Jack Parkman. Am I allowed to hope that he gets traded to the White Sox?
Dodgers: NEGRON JAMES
Yes, CHICKEN STRIP is still an amazing nickname for Ross Stripling and Jed Gyorko going with JERK-STORE is great, but Kristopher Negron giving a nod to LeBron — while playing in the same city, no less — is hilarious.
Maybe not the very best time for a Mario Lopez tribute, but Austin Slater pulling out the “Saved By The Bell” reference is very good.
Indians: NOT JUSTIN
Shane Bieber using this is always going to be funny, but it’s especially funny right now because Topps just accidentally printed “Justin” on his baseball card. Yasiel Puig going with WILD HORSE still rules too.
Austin Adams and Brandon Brennan are teaming up for a little synergy with these nicknames. If only R²-D² could have worked, though.
Adam Conley apparently just wants to be friends with Young Jeezy. I respect it.
Aaron Altherr did not done mess up with this “Key & Peele” reference.
Nationals: BROWN EYE
Last year, Max Scherzer went with BLUE EYE for the second year in a row and missed an absolute layup. This year, he’s dunking it home.
Orioles: SISCO KID
If they weren’t going to let him have “Thong Song” on there, this was a good alternative reference for Chance Sisco.
Padres: CHUBBS SENIOR
I almost didn’t want context for this one but then I found out Chubbs is Kirby Yates’ dog and now I’m so grateful for this information.
Phillies: KNAPP TIME
This one from Andrew Knapp gets extra points because it’s also what I often call baseball.
Pirates: EL COFFEE
Gregory Polanco knows caffeine is the way to my heart, though I’m extremely upset that Kevin Newman (NEWMS) didn’t go with HELLO NEWMAN.
You can always count on Hunter Pence to be weird.
Rays: NERD POWER (NERD FACE EMOJI)
Smart thinking by Eric Sogard and his big-time nerd glasses.
Reds: MEAT SAUCE
Josh VanMeter knows that baseball is better when you’re on the sauce.
Red Sox: DR. CHILL
Sam Travis knows the Red Sox need to catch fire over the next couple months though, right?
Rockies: (LETTUCE EMOJI)
Chad Bettis with an extremely productive one emoji showing here.
Royals: SCOOTS McGOOTS
It’s no Boaty McBoatface but Scott Barlow played the hand he was dealt.
Tigers: MATTY B / J Z
Matthew Boyd and Jordan Zimmerman honoring two equal legends of rap. Disappointing that Jacoby Jones (J.J.) decided not to join the fun after going with JUICY J last year.
Bet you can’t guess who this one belongs to.
White Sox: FORGETTING SARAH
Evan Marshall — a man of fine cinema.
It’s a shame we may not see this one on the field. Pretty disappointed nobody on the Yankees went with NOT HURT.